Unsolicited Advice
Fun to ask, fun to write, fun to receive if you're in the right state of mind
Sorry, I’m late.
I’ve been busy being obsessed with my Parisian Princess life. It’s a pleasure to be very happy for a while, and we all know what we should do when that comes around: not question it, not even for a second.
A while ago, I asked for your burning questions on Instagram, which I have answered below. I hope you don’t find this cringe or as though I think I’m better than you. More so, I love helping figure out other people’s life problems as a change from hyperfixating on my own.
I’ve written advice columns for over 14 years and have always loved the idea of this newsletter feeling like you’ve just sat next to me to hoon a glass of house red and feel your problems / thoughts / feelings / emotions somewhat soothed. Hope that translates!
xox
Un/solicited advice
Tips for finding time/energy to write outside of 9-5?
I always find it helpful if I have a vague idea of what I’m writing for. This can be as high or low stakes as you like. I also write all day for a living as a copywriter, so I use personal writing as a fun treat when I’m going mad writing for someone else - this makes it feel more like a fun indulgence as opposed to a chore.
Also, I think it depends on when your brain likes it best. For me, it’s 8 am or 8 pm and generally no other time slot in between. I have a scheduled block of time that reoccurs in my calendar that I set my phone on DND for and write.
In these times, I write in my notes app because sometimes I’m nowhere with wifi, which also helps me organise the types of writing I’m working on into little folders I can open when I’m drunk or feeling whimsical on the metro home one evening.
Writers’ groups are incredible. So are writers’ hours. Find some people who love it too who’ll hold you accountable.
Life feels overwhelmingly stressful right now. How to add whimsy and relief?
Making your life romantic is a discipline just like staying in love with someone, staying in shape, or learning a language. We think we’re entitled to it through virtue of simply surviving life, but I don’t think this is the case.
Paris tips? I’m there next week
Take a book and go to a nearby wine bar where you can buy a glass for under 5 euros. Aka not too trendy where no one will talk to you - somewhere there are regulars and possibly — preferably — a man behind the bar in a trilby hat serving. Talk to a stranger. Ask someone for a lighter. Order some nuts or olives. Stay there longer than you want to. Destiny herself will then sweep in.
In all seriousness, I’m staying in Belleville in the 11th and having such a good time just wandering around, you won’t even need an Instagram girlie’s map. But that’s just me. A proper, full guide to come.
Paris or Lisbon?
Lisbon for escaping reality, Paris for living in the chicest/bitchiest version of it.
What to do when an ex of two years adds a very deep/intimate song to your old shared playlist?
Ignore it and enjoy a gorgeous glass of wine this evening as revenge.
Want to come to our gig tomorrow night?
Yes. See you soon.
How do you move around the world so much? (Like legally, with visas, etc.). I’m jealous
Visa applications are hell, which operates on an ‘if you know, you know’ basis. My current situation is renewing a remote working visa in Portugal, in which a friend’s Feeld match, who turned out to be a lawyer, is now helping about 12 other chic women and me in Lisbon to be able to stay in the Northern Hemisphere. It’s expensive and anxiety-inducing and a loooot of documentation. But if you really want it, you’ll do it. Like my friend L once said to me, “If it were easy, every bitch would be doing it.” I think it has made me begin going prematurely grey. I’m really conscious of over-romanticising this for those on the outside looking in.
How to enjoy my young hot years and also hold the weight of the world?
Buy a slutty top and donate to charity on the same day. Light a candle that night and DM a potential crush.
What to do when an ex of two years adds a very deep/intimate song to our old shared playlist?
Ignore and find revenge in something fun and carefree this weekend. Do not text. Do not bait with story posting. Be chic and rise above and believe in your own mystery.
Why don’t you wear jeans?
If they’re not good enough for Susise Cave, they don’t have to be good enough for me.
How much of your time should you spend building your career?
Choose which chapter of your life you’re in/want to be in atm and adjust your expectations accordingly. In my experience, you cannot be in love, have a wonderful social life, be working out four times a week and be nailing your job. Your energy is a pie chart with only so much % to give. It’s ok if the career is simply surviving for a while. Knowing this, and knowing these phases also change, is what sets you free.
My friend is annoying af. Always complaining about minor shit. How do I tell her to grow up?
I think you have simply experienced more life than her and simply outgrown her. This is normal, positive even. Shift your energy to places and people who are on the same frequency as where you’re at or moving to. My experience is that these types of people don’t respond well to ‘stop complaining about your swimming pool renovation, we’re literally in various world wars atm’, but she may also be an outlier.
How do you know that you should date your partner long-term?
They make you feel calm and hopeful about the future, and loving them through their humanness feels both obvious and a good test of your own imperfections.
Interviewing Gia Coppola
Recently I had the pleasure of interviewing director Gia Coppola for the debut issue of Brownstone Cowboys. She spoke candidly about balancing making art and the need to pay rent, what it’s like being a woman in the film industry in 2026 (press tour organisers still forget to book hair and make up for female directors because they’re so used to men just running a hand through their hair and stepping in front of camera), and what it was like working with Pamela Anderson for The Last Showgirl.
It’s a very beautiful magazine featuring very beautiful editorial photography, words, and work from some of the most talented creatives in the world, worth a hoon if you’re feeling the need to be inspired atm.
Some music
Nothing much more profound to say other than I am simply obsessed with this album from Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Flea featuring cameos from Radiohead’s Thom Yorke and Nick Cave. A real coming together of Iconic Sad Men and an OG Rock Dog for a jazz album… Tell me more what poetry you need on this fine day.
Wishes!
Bel
xo